We were watching Baby Mama, and the part came where the lispy birth class teacher talks about using olive oil to stretch out the hoo-hah to prevent tearing.

Marmot cracked up about it. I gave him the Eye (I’m Italian, its hereditary).

And the conversation went something like this…

Me: You know you’re going to have to do that when I get pregnant.

Marmot: Do what?!

Me: Put olive oil down there so it stretches.

Marmot: *look of horror* The hell??

Me: Don’t even look at me like that, its your job!

Marmot: No ma’am! If you want to get kinky and rub yourself down there with cooking oil, that is YOUR deal.

Me: Ah no- allow me to explain this to you. If rubbing something on my hoo-hah prevents it from being TORN or CUT in the process of giving birth to YOUR child, you’re going to get over it. Because if you found out that me rubbing bat guano on your head prevented male-pattern baldness, there would be not a question in your mind that I’d be doing that.

Marmot: Alright alright, point taken. But can’t we just spray Pam down there??

Hands off ladies, he’s mine…lol