Because I can rant.
And today’s rant is about Mom Prejudice.
A status today on FB was a college friend asking for support as they were putting their daughter in a big girl bed and taking away her paci…only a mom could understand, but its a rough night at the X household…would love some encouraging words from moms out there!
At the risk of sounding like a whiner…why can’t I understand?! And why can’t I offer some stinkin support?!?! I may not be a mom, but I’m not stupid. I can understand that it must be heartwrenching to see your child upset. And even though you’re trying to do whats best, your child is miserable which must be agonizing. I understand that! But nooooo, I’m not a mom so I couldn’t possibly have anything to say!
Which irritates the crap out of me, because she’s practically saying that I have nothing to offer to someone who has kids simply because I don’t have any. And I swear this is the ONLY place where that happens in normal society. I’ve never had a heart attack either, but I’m not precluded from giving well wishes or encouragement just because I haven’t had one!
I totally get that until I have my own kids, I really don’t have the depth of understanding that someone who has kids would.
But I still think that next time she complains on FB about something stupid, like an earache, I’m going to tell her that I would offer support but as I have never had an earache, I’ll refrain. HAH!
Ok, I feel better now. lol
Comments
Holley
i feel your rant.
why do people feel like they are in a super special club depending on their circumstances.
Whatevs.
Bookish Penguin
I have acquaintances who stopped hanging out with people who weren't parents when they had their daughter. As you said, I get that I wouldn't get the depth of feeling pre-baby, but I can sympathize or whatever. As someone who has a baby, I'll say that most non-parents really can't relate to the daily doings with a child, but I don't see that as a reason to exclude them. I don't like how self-absorbed parenthood makes some people.
Lil' Woman
I hate when people think that just because they have kids that they are all knowing…..people woman, used to be a kid myself at one time.
Mone't
Lmao you tellum! I hate conversations like that “Until you've had a child you'll never understand.”
Um ok unless we're talking about child birth I think I might be able to relate a lil' bit. STFU.
Natalie
hahaha, omgosh so funny but SO TRUE! i always feel a tad bit patronized when hear “wait till you have kids”. I get that I don't understand some things but doesn't mean I can give common sense feedback as an outside observer!
thehoneyb
I'm glad its not just me! lol
thehoneyb
Its like they're saying we don't have common sense. Poo on them, I've got
common sense coming out my ears! My Mom is SO going to be posting about
this, demonstrating my lack of it. lol
thehoneyb
I still go back to the heart attack analogy. JUST BECAUSE I haven't had one,
doesn't I can't feel bad for someone who has!
Geek.Girl.Wife
It's not just you. Parents DO treat non-parents that way and it is unnecessary. There are some things we can ALL relate to, and non-parents should be allowed comment on them as we feel is appropriate.
Cori Benson
I agree Honey. I may not be a “real” mom either, but I spend juts as much time (if not more) with children then most moms really do. As a nanny, I have the opportunity to share and be a 'surrogate mom' for when the real one isn't available.
I too wish people understood what you are saying!!
2Wired2Tired
I'm sorry you felt left out. I try to stay away from the phrase “you moms out there” for these exact reasons. Glad you got to rant and get it off your chest! That's what blogs are for after all!
Newlywed & Unemployed
I have a friend who repeatedly posts about her daughter’s poor sleeping habits. Rarely sleeps through the night, always up very early, etc. And they have a newborn. I think she’d be wildly offended if I ever commented “Tired of hearing about this. Lock the child in her room – or lock your door.” I’m not a parent, but even I know the solution to this problem is stocking the kid-height fridge drawer with a morning snack, a little TV remote education and threats on pain of death not to wake Mommy & Daddy before the big hand is on the 6.
anonymous
I just found your blog thru spearmint baby and I know this post is back from July but I had to comment. My husband and I are finally pregnant with our first baby after trying for seven years and I repeatedly felt left out of the “mom club”. As if I couldn’t possibly understand something just because I didn’t have kids. I am still human. I once had a lady start chatting with me and right after she asked me if I had kids and I said no that interested in being my friend light went out of her eyes. She “casually” turned away and never said another word to me. I’ve never forgot how crappy that felt and pray that I never do that to someone!