• Invite Queen B. over to help remove wallpaper, she arrives two hours late.
• These projects are always best started with breakfast. Something nutritious like Golden Puffs.
• And then maybe a shopping trip.
• Trip to Lowe’s and $125 later, time to start.
• But its lunch time now, better eat lunch before we start the project.
• And its such a nice day, let’s let lunch digest while we sit in the yard and drink lemonade.
• Ok ok, so we’ll actually start.
• Removing wallpaper is a bitch.
• There I said it.
• {Sorry Mom.}
• The gel Dif is shit.
• {I know Mom, you raised me better than that.}
• {But its true.}
• Carpal tunnel five minutes into an entire dining room project can really take all the fun out of the whole thing.
• Plastic scrapers work better than metal, but you still have a buttload of adhesive left on the wall.
• Switch to the half bottle of liquid Dif from the basement.
• Dif water isn’t bad, but its runny- we now have more Dif in the carpet than on the walls.
• How many calories do you earn from swearing and throwing a plastic scraper?
• Google best wallpaper removal system.
• Order Wallwik because their YouTube video was awesome!
• Choose the slowest shipping method possible, and we’re done- we start removing wallpaper in a week. Ta-da!

Dear Honey, this is your Mother speaking. Reminisce? Yes lets!

August 4th is a red letter day for both of us you know. Thirty one years ago that day, the man I love asked me a question also – actually it was the pastor who asked – but I answered “Yes, I will!” Your Father (aka Left Brain) and I have been living happily ever after ever since our hot, muggy August wedding day in 1979.

Well, most years have been happy, but a few not so great ones were in there as well… and that little caveat made me think this would be a great opportunity to give you, a newly married person {almost 3 years is newly married Mom?} the greatest little nugget of marital wisdom that ever was. Yes, and I won’t even charge you – this one is on the house!

If I could boil down every bit of marital advice – given or received, heard or shared, taken seriously or laughed at – to one priceless paragraph, this would be it……. Seventy five percent of the time you will be happily married. Twenty percent of the time you will just be married. Five percent of the time you will be living on commitment alone!

You will not be happy every single day- so expect it. Don’t let it take you by surprise, prepare for it. Young couples that think that they will always be happy, or in love, or fulfilled in marriage are setting themselves up for disappointment. Being happily married all the time is an unreal expectation Honey, so just get it out of your mind right from the get-go. Anybody that has been married more than five minutes knows that there will be some down times.

But I am talking about more than that monster fight, or ongoing battle. I am talking about days that turn into weeks and months that there is nothing there. The marriage meter would be firmly in the red zone – empty. But if you know in advance, that there will be a time like this, you can say to yourself. “Self … this is it, this is one of those five percent days. This is that moment, the one I knew was coming! Oh yeah, I am only standing here with him because I promised God, myself, him and the rest of the world that I would stick with him even during this five percent.” Then get on with it – go let the air out of the tires on his motorcycle, give his second favorite shirt to the Goodwill, invite your mother to move in for awhile. Whatever it takes – and before you know it you will be happy again, and then you’ll blink and have been married thirty-one happy years, and people will say “How did you do it?” ……. then you will share your Percentages Promise to another generation.

Love from your (mostly happily married) Mother, Queen B.

It has been a long time since I’ve posted. But its been a busy long time! We got moved to WordPress, moved to a new house, got the wonky feed issues worked out, the entire house was painted, and we’re back in business!

Here is what has been going on in the meantime…

• I am in the midst of the worst case of baby fever, ever. Like epic. Baby fever to the point that YouTube videos of women having a natural labor has not brought the fever down.
• But my office upstairs is painted a shade of blue that would look gorgeous as a nursery.
• Marmot says could we please just have the guest bedroom not be neck-high in boxes before we start thinking nursery?
• Even though the guest bedroom is a disaster, the house overall has undergone a HUGE transformation. I’m working on the photo album right now, and OMG its amazing.
• The best transformation is the living room with a gorgeous Persian rug that looks like it was made for my living room- and a steal at $200 for a $1500 rug. I heart Craigslist with big BIG hearts.
• And speaking of good deals, the couches that were left in the house are awesome- we’re using them in our formal living room. I have learned that while I do have some pride, I have more cheap.
• Brewer (the new dog) uses said couches as his own personal House of Bounce, which I am still trying to catch on video.
• Max and Snooty Kitty are SO not amused by Brewer.
• Speaking of not amused, Marmot invited his entire family (four adults, one toddler) to come stay with us the last week of October.
• Yes, that would be all of us sharing the one bathroom with a shower.
• And since we lived like college students before moving here, we have to buy two more beds or the guests are sleeping on Brewer’s House of Bounce couches.
• But if we have a baby, couches used as House of Bounce is only the beginning right?
• Oh the baby fever rages on…

So what have you been upto these last few weeks??

Three years ago today, a very nervous acting Marmot came downstairs, and sat next to me on the couch where I was working on the computer.

Marmot: “Sweetie, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “Whats wrong with you, why are you being so weird? I’m working on this right now babe.”

Marmot: *pulls out ring box and scoots to the edge of the couch* “Sweetie!”

Me: “What?! Ohh!”

Marmot: *smiles at me* “I have to ask you a question.”

Me: “Ok, but aren’t you supposed to be on your knees?”

Marmot: “Seriously?” *rolls his eyes and gets on his knees* “Better?”

Me: “Yes its better, now ask me!”

Marmot: “Honey, will you marry me?”

Me: “Yes yes yes!”

And we lived happily ever after...

So we decided that the chaos level with moving, having the whole house pulled apart and being painted, both working full-time, and both being in school just wasn’t enough chaos for us.

Enter: Brewer

Making himself at home...

A 7 year old chocolate lab we got from a lab rescue one state over. He was an owner surrender when his family moved to a gated community, although I don’t know how anyone could give him up! It took him a few days to settle in, but he’s tossing around tennis balls, chasing at the cat (who is so not amused), and playing in the sprinkler. Max is tolerant of his little brother, but thinks Brewer doesn’t understand the danger of water, because they = baths.

The boys...

Let the chaos continue!

Yes I know, this is at least the 80th 8th time I’ve talked about skincare and my issues with finding a good skincare routine, but it still haunts me.

But the routine de jour is Lush, because their store are really cool and I fell in love with bath bombs.

The current routine is:

Lush Coalface cleanser

Lush Tea Tree Water toner

Lush Vanishing Cream moisturizer

Lush Ocean Salt scrub 3-4x a week

And…I’m currently ambivalent. My face feels really soft, especially after the Ocean Salt scrub, but its nothing amazing. I’m going to keep going with it until its gone (if for no other reason that this is about $80 worth of stuff!) and see what happens. I’m really liking the fact that I’m using things made from natural sources, and minimal animal products- but we’ll see if that holds true when it comes time to buy more. Hah!

I got the Noubar soap which while not particularly lather-y, the smell is amazing- I could describe it as grass + dirt, but its better than that, and I do find myself smelling my hands after using it. It has pistachios in it, but do not eat them while you are bathing, they don’t taste like regular pistachios. Just so you know.

But the thing that Lush is known for however is the bath bombs, of which I am addicted. And I’m not one to hide my addictions, I would like to share them with you. In the form of a Butterball bath bomb, just for commenting and telling me what your skincare routine is. But you could tweet about it too, and leave an extra comment.

So, what are you using for skincare these days…?

Giveaway ends at 8pm CST on August 7th, 2010. And I only wish that Lush would pay me to talk up their products!