Marmot and I have had ‘clean the basement’ on our massive to-do list since we moved into the house in June…but its been the type of project that seemed so mammoth, its hard to even think about starting it but once you do, the momentum picks up. So yesterday, I decided to move some things around on the shelving in the basement and seven hours later, the basement didn’t know what had hit it!

So I was working in the corner with the shelving, had the Shop-Vac and was sucking up the dust and dead bugs when I saw it. This thing:

The biggest spider known to man. And it was LOOKING AT ME!!

The following text message transcript began:

Me: I just vacuumed the biggest f-ing spider I’ve ever seen. My hands are still shaking! Holy bejeezus I need a drink. How long do I need to run the Shop-Vac until we can reasonably assume its dead?

Marmot: Might still be alive, who knows.

Me: Eff, are you serious??

Marmot: Google it.

Me: This is NOT a time to joke, when will it be dead?!

Marmot: The sucking action should have killed it, I’ll clean the Shop-Vac out when I get home. You don’t have to keep the vacuum running.

Me: Ok, the vacuum will be waiting for you. Running.

So I kept using the Shop-Vac, but didn’t turn it off until I was pretty sure that I had sucked up enough particles to pummel the spider to death. You can’t be too careful with giant spiders, and this one was mean looking.

But by the time I got done with the basement, I had sucked up seven spiders, and had stomped on at least twelve. As it went on, there was less screaming and swearing with each kill.

And Brewer stayed close, ready to bark everytime I screamed and threw the Shop-Vac hose. He’s my bud.

And the basement? Much improved, de-junked and swept and sorted and the spider population has been significantly thinned. Before and After pics coming as soon as Marmot hauls away the garbage pile. But the psychological trauma lives on, last night I had nightmares about spiders.

Anyone know of a spider-repellent I can douse the basement in??