Dear Honey,

This is your Mother speaking. just have to say it – I read this post and understood approximately 20% – is this some sort of code I don’t know about. (My older paranoid side is wondering if this is some way you under thirty ladies talk so that anyone over 50 won’t have a chance in he*# of knowing what you are saying!) I have three questions:

#1 What a Circle-Blooming MP3 is? And what does it have to do with getting pregnant?

#2 Why are you charting your temperature? I thought all of that was over when you stop trying NOT to get pregnant?

#3 Now you are on CD2 – tell me you are putting this all on CD and sharing it with the friends, doctor, blog family!!! Trust me on this dear – Nobody wants to know that much about how you “get the job done”- lets just keep the CD’s between us – OK dear??

Really Honey, you have spent more time studying – reading – and researching pregnancy than anyone on the planet. If you would put pen to paper and write a quick thesis, you could have a PHD in “Pre- Pregnancy”. Can you at least get a Masters in “Pre-Natal Vitamins” out of this?

My advice, because I know you want it…..it is such a joy to have a daughter who values her Mothers opinion on all matters – thank you darling – I even remember one time you asked – lovely girl….. so here is some more. Just get to it. People have been doing this for thousands of years with far less study and come out with phenomenal results – look at you darling – a surprise of the most wonderful kind!

Love from your Mother,

Queen B.