Dear Honey, this is your Mother speaking.

Tit-for-Tat: The Christmas version?  Genius! You have learned well Grasshopper!  I think that we should crown each other Queen and Princess of “Tit-for-Tat World” (I will be the Queen).  Then we should take a sworn solemn oath that we will never use our frighteningly evil Tit-for-Tat skills on other members of Tit-for-Tat royalty.  We will need a new pact – the “Tit-for-Tat Royal Dispensation Pact”.  We could even have “Royalty” meetings, where we eat brownies and share Tit-for-Tat wisdom and plan future attacks.….. ?  Speaking of future attacks, I have the next one all ready to go.

Queen B:  “Babe, I think we have been robbed!”

Your Father:  “Huh..?”

Queen B:  “Really babe, I have been cashing my checks and putting the money in my underwear drawer for Christmas, and over half of it is gone!”

Your Father:  “Oh yea, I was, uh, going to tell you about that…….blah,blah,blah…..so I bought his one of a kind, Revolutionary war era, long barrel musket ….”

Queen B:  “You did what???????”

Your Father (the big jerk, who already owns a closet full of damn guns):  “He needed the money, he was out of work…. This can be my Christmas gift from the family. …. I can always use it to defend our home….”

Queen B: “Unless a full contingent of Civil War Reinactors march down our cul-de-sac in the next 5 seconds you only need to worry about defending yourself from me, your wife, one mad, mad Queen B!”

Your Father, the idiot:  Flailing his arms, “There’s a bee in here?!? Where?! Where?!?!”

Love from your Mother, Queen B.