So the potential plan of TTC in December or January has put me into a little bit of a babies-rabies/panic/overdrive. And like every good Type A planning freak, as soon as I felt the need to research and obsess, I went to Amazon. And here’s what I’ve found so far:

I just finished The Big Book of Birth, and I was impressed. Like way impressed. I had anticipated some hostility towards one side or the other, but this was very objective, written very fairly. Furthermore, the writing was done in the most friendly and non-intimidating way possible. I assumed that as a nurse (that did quite well in OB actually) that I’d prefer a more textbook tone in birth books. Way wrong! And she was funny too. After reading the book, I felt like I had been able to dispel a lot of the fear I’ve always had about labor and birth, and I’m actually starting to look forward to it, if thats possible? I don’t think I could recommend this book any higher.

Earlier this year, I went through Naturally Knocked Up’s fertility e-course, another pre-pregnancy recommendation that was quite simply, excellent. I am my (crunchy) Mother’s daughter, and I really wanted to learn about getting my body ready, beyond the What to Expect Before You’re Expecting book which is much like its predecessor, and had me worrying a lot about pretty much everything. The course was laid out nicely, the topics were excellent, it had a forum for participants to discuss the week’s content, and worksheets, links, and resources on each weeks topic. Look into it!

Prenatal vitamins are quite the racket. I spent no less than five hours researching the best prenatal vitamins that met the recommendations for what the vitamin provides, and also spent at least an hour researching DHA supplements (which apparently will turn your child into a genius). The vitamins that were prenatal and DHA didn’t have quite the recommended amounts of either, one of the better prenatals had concerns about the use of bean sprouts, the next best required taking two pills three times a day (gag) and the ones I’ve been taking for the past year expire in three weeks. And just in case anyone reading is in the market, the verdict of all my research is: Rainbow Light Prenatal One vitamins and Expecta Lipil non-fish DHA supplements. And the Bellybar chewable prenatals although I find chewable aftertaste to be slightly gack, nothing like Flintstones.

I’ve got a few more books in my Amazon cart, and another few stashed on my Kindle: the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Are there any you would recommend land in my Amazon cart?

I got to thinking about something- how much planning ahead should you do for a baby? I mean I know you should be doing some things, but I mean how far do you go with that? My SIL Belle put it out there like in April that they wouldn’t be traveling for Thanksgiving when she was expecting Baby Belle- but then regretted it when we were talking on Thanksgiving Day. I’m wondering how crazy it would be to host the family for Christmas if I had a baby in October?

So my question is- how far do you remove yourself from obligations and such when you have a newborn? Belle and her husband almost segregated themselves starting right before Baby Belle’s due date, which is great on some levels- no plans to travel, projects finished, nothing to distract them from just enjoying the first couple months of Baby Belle’s life. And yet it came off as a little ‘elitist’, if that’s even the right word. Like they could NOT be bothered by anyone or anything. They even told my MIL to come like two weeks after the baby was born, and while I’m sure they didn’t think it was outrightly rude, it was rude. My MIL never said anything, but I was insulted for her. It was her first grandbaby! I’m getting used to my SIL and her disinterest in anything family (or at least surface interest, because as a good Southerner she has to pretend to like us) but it felt like they were shutting out the world with the birth of their baby.

As it turned out, PPD kicked my SIL in the teeth and my MIL (and SIL’s MIL) were out there round the clock for the first three months anyway- but still the question remains in my mind…is closing off your little family when the baby is born a good thing? I get the concept of not having obligations, like its probably not the time you want to do a cross-country trip. But once Baby Belle’s due date came and went, they were bored and looking for even more things to finish up before baby arrived.

But in many aspects, that’s exactly what I want to do. I want things to be DONE before baby gets here. I have lists now, long before pregnancy- think how the lists will be when I do actually get pregnant?? Belle and husband had the basement done, the house projects done, big projects finished and everything caught up- and I keep thinking about how nice that would be, not having to think about what you could/should be doing. Having time to enjoy your newborn baby, who wouldn’t want more of that? Or just spend whatever time you have not holding/changing/feeding a baby on important things, like sleeping!

So what would the things be that you Would, or Would NOT want to have going on with a newborn?

Dear Honey,

This is your mother speaking.

Well the good news is -  I am NOT pregnant!  The bad news is – your Mother never forgets!  Yes dear one, I will never forget your kind, supportive, sensitive reaction to my latest crisis.

Let me clarify so that when you see your name X’ed out on my will you will remember why.

I am 52 years old and have never skipped a period – truly! Other than when pregnant I have gone 41 straight years – like the energizer bunny- I have a gift for being regular.  If there was a support club for regular menstrual cycles, I could be the ambassador.  Anyway I missed my period – whoa.  That made me sit up and take notice.  But then I am 52 years old and you are supposed to stop this monthly ritual sometime, so tried not to over think it.  One week went by, two weeks, and then three, no problem.  Then wham – I threw up.  Yes, just like that, I threw up my lunch.  I was folding your fathers underwear (I don’t think there is a correlation) standing over the dryer and all of a sudden I got *the feeling* -  watery mouth, light headed, queasy with a capital Q.  I dropped his shorts and made it to the toilet just in time.  The rest of the afternoon was spent on the couch sleeping it off.  The strange thing was I didn’t feel sick.  No upset stomach, gas, venomous belching.  Nothing.  Next day, same thing.  I am doing dishes at the kitchen sink and wham.  I threw up right into the sink.  Oh, for Pete’s sake.  Back to the couch, another nap.  Day three I was ready for it.  I walked around with an empty plastic bag in one hand and a Kleenex in the other.  Sure enough about 2 pm it happened again.  Well, this is a puzzle, I think I will stop by my darling daughters house and share.

Queen B. – “Honey, I have been feeling strange ……” And I give you my list of symptoms. Isn’t that why I paid your way through nursing school?

Honey B. – “No period, check.  Throwing up, check.  Sexually active? Urp, now I want to throw up.  Good grief Mother, don’t be dumb – YOU’RE PREGNANT!”

Queen B. – “Honey, no, that couldn’t be it ….. For goodness sake I would be 70 at the poor child’s graduation!”

When I saw the tears rolling out of the corners of your eyes and I knew immediately what was happening.  “Oh Honey, I am so sorry  to be so insensitive.  I know you want to be pregnant so badly. Oh baby, I am so, so sorry ……….”  I was at your side in a flash, being the best Mother I know how, loving, comforting, holding you as you —– sprayed Diet Dr. Pepper out your nose and all over your shirt!  You were laughing!  You couldn’t speak, you were bent over the side of the couch gasping, and don’t try and tell me you have asthma – you were laughing!.   Any conversation that ends with you needing to change into dry underwear means you were laughing! Well, humpf!

I headed immediately to Walmart where they conveniently place the pregnancy tests next to the worlds largest collection of condoms.  After an enlightening conversation with a tattooed young man with a ring in his nose about the pros and cons of latex versus lambskin, I went home and took the test.

I am NOT pregnant! Thanks for caring!

Love from your Mother,

Queen B.

The first installment of the Friday book list….a tour through what books are in my mountain of a To-Read stack, and favorites on my ever-growing bookshelves!

The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents (link)
Now this book is hilarious. Completely makes fun of parents who are out to be perfect parents, and has hilarious illustrations. Love it!

Husband Coached Childbirth, AKA, the Bradley Method (link)
I’m intrigued by the concept of a natural birth, and got this book to check things out, expecting to be a little freaked out after reading. But the book was encouraging! I was really impressed, and will definitely have this on my radar when I do get pregnant.

And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives (link)
I haven’t started this book yet, but its on the top of my To-Read pile. I have a friend who always says they’ll have kids when they hear of someone out there who says having a baby is good for their marriage, finances, everything. And honestly, I don’t blame them. You hear about people growing apart when they have kids, their marriage taking a hit and that is a big fear of mine about having a baby. This book was recommended for me and the quick perusal was promising, I can’t wait to start reading!

Happy at Work, Happy at Home: The Girl’s Guide to Being a Working Mom (link)
My other fear about managing after baby is born! I have an awesome career, and I really don’t want to stop working after we have a baby- can I balance my life as Mom and life as employee? I worry about that transition, and I’ve been told this book is some good encouragement and offers skills for the balancing act. Can’t wait!

Expecting Money: the Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families (link)
This just delves into an issue we hear a lot about (kids are expensive!) but don’t always have great advice for. This book is impressively concise about all financial aspects of having a baby and so far (I’m only about halfway through) its been very informational, lots of things to think about as we get ready.

Baby Lists: What to Do and What to Get to Prepare for Baby (link)
Anal Annie’s dream! Seriously, this book covers everything you could possibly need to consider when getting ready for a baby. I love being over-prepared and this book will absolutely help me accomplish that!

You didn’t think I’d only have five pregnancy-related books on my bookshelves did you?? You’re right there’s more than that. There will be more pregnancy-conception related books coming in future Friday Book Lists!

What do you think of these books? What is your favorite pregnancy-related book?